Cooler Online

So, some things that bug me about living in a virtual world. I know that's not a complete sentence, but deal with it. It's like a title. Think of it as a title.

First, I must make clear that I am not irritated with the fact that we all must live in this virtual world. This world was created for me; it's ideal for me. Who even wants to live in the crappy real world anyway? Who wants to deal with face to face combat when we could just be bombing each other from an office somewhere?

So, jumping right in, the first thing that bugs me is online abbreviations. Cringe and get it over with. You know you use them. We all do. We can't help it. It's a material virtual world and we are material virtual girls. My very least favorite abbreviation is "lol." I can't stand it. Are you really laughing out loud? Are you? Are you belly laughing, rolling on the floor, slappying your knee, snorting laughter laughing? Because I doubt that you are. Don't insult my intelligence (yes, my intelligence) by saying that you are. I know you're not.
Another abbreviation I can't stand is "dh" for dear husband, I gather, or "sahm" for, you guessed it, stay at home mom. It's become a status symbol for women who actually love their husbands and stay at home all day everyday (kudos, though) in a world of people who don't. Kind of cliquey.
Another really annoying type of abbreviation is the aymuy (abbreviation you make up yourself, for those of you not in the know).

Another thing that bugs me, and probably more than abbreviations, is the over use and misuse of punctuation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!!!! Barf. All that tells me is you're trigger happy. Also, ending every single sentence with more than the necessary number of periods, which is one and exactly one...... And turning statements into questions. Maybe you have noticed this????

Something else I can't stand, and I don't mean to offend, though I won't insult you by telling you it's your fault if I offend you, is using numerals or single letters instead of words. U know, like saying U will B back l8r 2 poke me in the I. That's about how comfortable it is to read, 2. It's not really a shortcut. It is actually more difficult to do. In this day and age, you need to know how to type to communicate, period. Unless you are my highschool boyfriend trying 2 tell me U luv me in under the 140 characters of a text message, I have to let this irritation stand.

Let's see, what else is there? Ah yes: USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. That indicates that you are yelling at me. Nothing else. There is no other way for me to take it. If you continue to YELL at me, I will just log off. SO THERE.

Don't confuse this with using selective capital letters to indicate sarcasm. Like "Oh, because I WANTED to eat dog poop," or "I just LOVE eating salad." This seems to be okay. At least it doesn't bother me. It actually makes me laugh when used well.

Also, I don't mind when people use periods for emphasis. But, oh. my. gosh. don't you think it will get old quick?

Well, did I make you mad? Are you saying, "but I do that, and it's not annoying?" Yes, yes you do (I do, too) and it is annoying. But what can we do? It's a new language. We have to use it to survive.


Bob said…
I share your irritation with so much of what you said. I see online abbreviations as a major cause for the downturn in society.

I admit that I am guilty of the use and overuse of the ellipsis (...) I remember my Junior year English teacher taught us about the proper use of ellipses and I have been a big fan of them ever since.

I have a really good friend (perhaps my best friend, if indeed 30 year olds are entitled to best friends) who uses online abbreviations. It drives me crazy.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. Great post, really got me going this morning.
Lisa said…
That doesn't make me mad at all, it makes me laugh! Ha ha! (oh, I mean LOL!) I must be out of the know because I have never heard of those other abbreviations. Great post! I feel your pain! And yes, I do use excessive periods quite often.....
Dan said…
I concur. Although, with the ellipses, many people use them as a way of showing that time is passing. It's essentially injecting a moment of silence into the conversation, and I feel that appropriately-timed silences are as crucial to comprehension of language as the words themselves.

Maybe there's a better--or more correct--way to denote a pause, such as [ ], with the space in between signifying the length of the pause. I'll have to think about that for a minute. [ ] Yeah, it would work.

I don't understand abbreviations, though, especially in text messaging. The abbrs. started as a way to avoid typing unnecessary characters because of limits on space and inefficiencies in typing. However, with the word recognition typing (that almost all phones now have) it's actually easier to type the whole word. And, I don't know if you've noticed, but very--and I mean very--few people EVER fill up 152 characters of space in a text message (usually between 10 and 50). There's no need whatsoever to abbreviate anything.

One more thing: LOL and its cousin ROTFLOL make me want to PUMLAOTF (Puke Up My Lunch All Over The Floor)

I would like to say that I concur with Bob and Dan. I am also a fan of the ... they are my favorite. I try to use them as often as possible in my newpaper articles. It's like a game to me to see which ones my editor will tolerate and which ones she scraps.

I also agree that these abrvs are the break down of our modern society. Dogs and cats sleeping together, MASS HYSTERIA!!!!!!!!!

If my kid grows up and thinks LOL is word, I'm going to be mad.

That being said. I prefer the word night spelled nite. I just think it's cuter.
Anonymous said…
Texting language has ruined our society. Every one of my teachers over the years -well, the ones I had papers due for- has said that they can see a decline in writing ability. I saw a thing on the news about it as well. Kids can't formulate coherent thought that last more than a sentence or two; it's all due to texting and chatting.
Mark & Margaret said…
The thing that really irritates me about blogs and the online language is that they allow people to make broad sweeping statements to or about people without addressing the underlying issue. Sure, they may feel better at the moment, but the vitriol will fester into a slimy, stinky pile of goo. (no matter how many abbreviations they use)
Mamabloguer said…
vitriol's a funny word.
Mamabloguer said…
But you're right; I shouldn't have added a barb in the middle. Sometimes on a rampage vitriol just falls out unchecked.

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