My car is my favorite child

My car is my favorite child. I will state the reasons.

1-It listens to the music I tell it to. It does not complain about the music I like. It remembers what music I like. It will listen to music loud if I want it to, or it will listen to music soft if I want it to. It's so easy to get it to do this; it's like turning a knob. (My other kids are currently listening to Elmo sing some version of Hickory Dickory Dock).

2-I did not have to potty train my car. I do not have to wipe it. It never waits until I sit down and then yells from the bathroom, "Mom, I'm done!"

3-It never whines. Ever.

4-My car never invites friends over. Its friends never dump sand out of the sandbox all over the yard. It's friends never ask me for drinks when they could walk 15 feet and get one at their own home. It's friends never gather every item in my kids' bedroom that is made from matter onto the bunkbed and claim it is a boat which they are sailing through uncharted waters with which they must save all of my children's possessions from getting pretend wet.

5-My car never drives itself away not to be heard from nor seen for several hours. If you lose your kid I think they might take you to jail for neglect. Also, though I like when my other kids disappear for a while, I still worry about them. Weird. Anyway you look at it, it's annoying.

6-It sits still if I want it to. It moves if I want it to.

Is that enough reasons?

If you would like to read about a little old lady who gets whacked over the head by some bum in pioneer park, click here.

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