When I am at work I like to chew gum. This is basically the only movement that is allowed while on the work floor, and you can either choose to do it or not do it. I choose to do it.
I am the kind of person who likes gum that tastes like mint. I am opposed to gum that tastes like fruit, spices, flowers, or childhood candy. I purchase gum by the truckload at Costco. I back the 4Runner up to their loading bay and they load me down with mint-flavored gum.
So I get this jumbo-pack of several kinds of mint gum. It has Spearmint and Peppermint; normal so far, right? And it has Wintermint. I don’t know what that is, but okay. Then it has Bubbamint and Cinnamint. I scratch my head at this. I’ve chewed all the good mint and so I think that maybe I will try the fake Bubbamint and Cinnamint. I try them and guess what: they taste like bubble gum and cinnamon gum. No mint whatsoever.
Tonight I was disparaging this to Dave. I mean, if you’re going to advertise something as mint, it should taste minty, don’t you think? He said that the next thing you know, they will be selling me Excremint.
Should I buy into this? Maybe it won’t taste like minty poop, I reason, since the Bubbamint didn’t taste like minty bubble gum. It’s like someone down at the hotdog factory got together with someone down at the bun factory and decided to rip off the American public. What’s a consumer to do?